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This is my home for now. My home in Laurel Canyon. In the day I see hummingbirds and big fat yellow butterflies outstide my window. At night I step outside the door and the smell of Jasmine fills me and I am happy. Everything here to me now is in technicolour, everything I touch drips with the celluloid that the film in my head is turning over and over so as not to forget. I want to tell you that when something has to end, you take each moment and you hold it, you taste it, you smell it and you know it.  You breathe in each part so fully that remembering is a sorrow and a joy. You can feel totality through the keyhole of one moment. For me its through that summer Jasmine smell, through that I can experience it. Life. Its like everything converges through that one sense and I can be anywhere and everywhere. Perhaps this makes no sense to you. Perhaps the idea that I want to lay on the earth and soak her up or that I can feel the trees in the garden breathing sounds crazy, a little too new age perhaps. When did everything get tainted with that label? Since when did 'love' become a bit too hippy? I tell you now. I want love. Real raw, untainted, unbridled, passionate love in every area of my life. I want to fall deeply into every crack I find.

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