One of my favourite Artists has "Fear is a Mind Killer" tattooed on the inside of her arm. I have always said I would never get a tattoo, that it wouldn't suit my pale mask of polite Englishness. I would have this one though, stamped on my soul, branding me with a visceral declaration that bleeds its ink into everything I do.
I used to think fear was in charge. Years I spent becoming concave, curdling in my cardigan. My bones dry and shrunken from the weeping of my dreams. I didn't know that the more afraid I was, the more courageous I could become.
There is a photograph of me on a beach with a back pack, walking away from a life that wasn't mine.
Through the picture here, I can see where I am. That I have popped back out through the looking glass.
Don't worry, you won't know that fear is killing you. It will be a slow and comfortable death,
Until the end.